Conjuction Junction What's Your Function?

So for those of you at home who are keeping score, it is officially; Korea 1 Ronnie 0. I woke up a couple of days ago with a slightly red left eye. I say slightly as if I used it in a sentence like: "Bill Gates is slightly rich". This eye of mine looked like it had been dipped in Strawberry sauce. No problem, it didn't hurt or itch. I'll just kill it with Visine and all will be good. So that's what I did all day, I used a whole bottle of Visine on it. I woke up the next day and... still frickin' red! So being that yesterday was a Korean National holiday, I went to the eye doctor (for you roadly scholars that's the opthomologist). He told me I have Conjuctivitis. That's right, Conjuct-A Damn-Vitis! Who the hell gets Conjunctivitis?

Now for those of you who are wondering what Conjunctivitis is, stop being lazy and google it. The doctor gave me 2 different eye drops to take every 3 hours and a whack of pills to take after meals. As to how I contracted the Conjunctivitis, your guess is as good as mine. I blame it on society and if you care about me you would too.

But don't worry about Ronnie, I've been through worse than this. So if this is all you got Korea, you don't stand a chance in hell against me. I've had so many nasty sicknesses that it would make your head spin. I've had bronchitis numerous times. I had tonsilitis so many times I had a tonsilectomy when I was 22 (almost unheard of nowadays). So go ahead, give me your crusty ol' Conjunctivitis. In fact, I'll have it with a side of the gout if you don't mind! You won't keep this Canadian down for long. And when you're not looking... Wham, that's when I strike!

Ronnie the Resilient